Dress Up With The Cullens
by Lolabri
Summary: All of the Cullens Plus Bella are playing dress up! But what happens when they go on a quest to find Stephenie Meyer? They go to Arizona of course! Edward as a Muffin? Bella as a banana? Jasper the Kung Fu master? Better watch out?
1. Dress Up

Chapter one

JASPER: _{Singing}_ Everybody was kung fu fighting! Everybody was fast as lightning! _{Does awesome kung fu moves}_

_{Alice enters room dressed as a princess}_

ALICE: What are you supposed to be?

JASPER: I'm a kung fu warrior! Duh!

ALICE: Oh! Can I be a kung fu princess then? Please!

JASPER: What?! There can't be a kung fu princess! That is so lame!

ALICE: Nah-uh! Princesses are so not lame!

_{Rosalie enters room dressed as a bunny} _

ROSALIE: OMG! I'm a vampire bunny! Chirp! Chirp!

ALICE: Uh… I don't think that is what a bunny is supposed to sound like.

ROSALIE: Yes it is! Emmett!

_{Emmett enters room dressed as superman} _

EMMETT: It's Super Emmett! I will save you fair maiden bunny!_ {Scoops Rosalie up into his arms}_

ROSALIE: Oh! My hero!

JASPER: Hey! I'm the kung fu master! I will save you!

ALICE: No you aren't mister! _{Grabs Jasper by the ear and drags him out of the room} _You're going in the time out corner!

JASPER: Not the time out corner!! Anything but that!

_{Edward enters the room dressed as a muffin} _

EDWARD: It's muffin man! I will save you from those breakfast hungers!

_{Bella jumps out from behind Edward dressed as a banana} _

BELLA: And it's banana girl! I'm chalk-full of potassium!

BELLA+ED: _{Singing}_ I like to eat, eat, eat, muffins and bananas!

EMMETT: _{Drools and drops Rosalie on the ground} _I like muffins and bananas. I want some!

ROSALIE: Hey! Emmy! I can't believe you would choose a muffin over me!

EMMETT: But I like muffins!

_{Emmett tries to take a bite out of Edward's muffin costume} _

EDWARD: Hey! What the heck Emmett! It's my muffin suit!

BELLA: Don't eat my hot vampire muffin boyfriend! How dare you Emmett!!

_{Carlisle comes in the room dressed as a police man} _

CARLISLE: Did someone call 911? _{He takes out his fake gun} _Bang! Bang! Hey what's wrong with my gun? Bang!

_{Esme comes in the room dressed as a robber with a sack of money} _

ESME: Ha ha ha ha! I just robbed a bank! I just robbed a bank! _{Gasps} _Did I just say that out loud?! Oops…

ALICE: Um…yeah.

Esme: Aw shoot.

CARLSLE: You're under arrest! _{Takes out handcuffs} _

ESME: You'll never catch me! Muh ha ha ha! _{runs out of room}_

CARLISLE: Oh yeah? _{Runs out of the room to catch Esme} _

ROSALIE: Emmett's costume is so much better then Edwards. I mean, come on. He's a muffin! They are so lame…

BELLA: Nah-uh! Muffins are hotter then super heroes! They taste-

_{Jasper and Alice enter the room with Harry potter puppet pals puppets}_

JASPER: Snape! Snape! Severus Snape!

ALICE: Dumbledore!

BELLA: Stephanie Meyer!!!!

JASPER+ALICE: What?! Stephanie Meyer is not in Harry Potter Puppet Pals!

BELLA: So? I worked hard on this Stephanie puppet. Stephanie is awesome! _{Hugs Stephanie puppet}_

ALICE: But It's not the _real_ Stephanie.

BELLA: Fine then. I'll go find her. She lives in Arizona, right?

ALICE: Um…yeah!

EDWARD: I'll go with you! Are the rest of you guys coming?

ROSALIE: Yeah! Let's see the creator!

EMMETT: Let's go!

ALICE: Okay!

JASPER: I'm coming too! I'll show her my master kung fu moves! Hi-ya!

_{Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Bella, and Edward run out the door and out to the front of the house and march into the sunset, heading for Arizona. Right after they leave, Esme and Carlisle enter the room. Carlisle is dressed in Elvis clothes and is wearing an afro. Esme is wearing 50's clothes}_

ESME: Where is everyone? Heelloooo!!

CARLISLE: I don't know. Who cares though? Let's party!

_{A disco ball emerges from the ceiling and the lights dim. Music comes on. Esme and Carlisle start dancing.}_

CARLISLE AND ESME: Party!!!


	2. The Plan!

Chapter two

_{The Cullens are lost in a huge mall in Phoenix, Arizona, in their quest to find Stephenie Meyer. To their horror, they have forgotten to take off their costumes. But they also have a little luck, for it's the month of October. Go Halloween!}_

ALICE: Where the heck are we? Is this even in phoenix? WHERE ARE WE?!

JASPER: Okay, it's official. We are lost.

EDWARD: So much for vampire senses. And uh…Jasper? Why are you dressed up as a prince?

JASPER: Don't ask.

ROSALIE: So…what's the plan?

EDWARD: What plan?

ROSALIE: To find Stephenie! Duh! You were here when we first went to find her!

EMMETT: What if she's not even in here?

BELLA: You can't lose hope! Besides, this mall **is** in Phoenix.

JASPER: Sure…

BELLA: Jasper!

_{Two teenage boys look at Edward and snicker. I guess they think muffins are funny.}_

EDWARD: Why I oughtta…

ALICE: Edward…

EMMETT: Actually, I think we should change out of these costumes.

ROSALIE: Change into what? We don't have any clothes.

BELLA: Hello! It's a mall!

ALICE: Anyone have cash?

EDWARD: I'm in a muffin suit. What do you expect? Blueberry pockets?

ROSALIE: You mean we are gonna have to wear these costumes the whole time in we're in here!?!?

ALICE: Yep.

ROSALIE: HOW CRUEL IS THIS WORLD!?!?

BELLA: Very cruel.

EMMETT: Well…look on the bright side. I look sexy as a super hero, and Edward _{Snickers}_ looks very…cute as a muffin.

EDWARD: _{Growls}_ THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DEAD!!

EMMETT: AHHHH!!

_{Edward chases Emmett through the crowd. The Cullens quickly lose sight of them.}_

BELLA: At least you guys are beautiful. I'm hideous. And I'm a banana.

JASPER: You're not ugly! You're normal.

BELLA: Ugh. I'm going to Orange Julius. _{shuffles off}_

ALICE: Thanks a lot Jasper. Now you just made her depressed. _{Rolls eyes}_

JASPER: What?! What did I do? STOP PICKING ON ME!

ROSALIE: Boys are so clueless.

Alice: Oh yeah.

_{A Woman dressed in princess clothes comes up to Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice.}_

PRINCESS LADY: There you are! I've been looking all over the mall for you! You're on in five! How can you get lost?!

JASPER: Um…

PRINCESS LADY: _{Examines Jasper}_You look a little different. Oh well. We are going to be late.

_{The lady grabs Jasper by the arm and takes him somewhere. Jasper has a very confused look on his face.}_

ROSALIE: _{Sighs}_ He deserved it. It was coming for him. I hope he can act.

ALICE: Well…that was very…strange. Plus everyone is gone, so we can't discuss the plan, which I haven't even thought up yet.

ROSALIE: yeah. It's depressing.

ALICE: Whoa. _{Her eyes go blank and she stays totally still.}_

ROSALIE: What do you see, Alice?

ALICE: I see…I see…I see…clothes in our future!

ROSALIE: Sweet! I'm so ready to shop!

ALICE: Shouldn't we help the others?

ROSALIE: We have to fulfill our destiny! You saw it yourself!

ALICE: Alright. Let's go.

_{Alice and Rosalie head off to the wonderful clothes stores.}_


	3. Orange Julius and Flirtitude

Chapter 3:

_(Bella, still dressed up as a banana, has found Orange Julius. (BEST smoothie place in the whole world)_

CASHIER: Welcome to Orange Julius. What would you like to order?

BELLA: Hm…I think I'll have the Strawberry Xtreme smoothie.

CASHIER: Oh. Sorry, but we're out of Strawberry Xtreme. We do have lots of other choices, though.

BELLA: Ugh. I'll have…Banana Chill.

CASHIER: Okay. _(Looks at Bella's banana suit) _Are you on a break?

BELLA: What?

CASHIER: Aren't you advertising the new Banana Chill fruit smoothie? The Ice cream is over their. _(Points at a guy dressed up in an ice cream suit)_

_(The manager comes up to the counter)_

MANAGER: _(Looks at Bella) _Finally! We've been waiting for you. You must be the replacement banana. Now get over there and advertise!

BELLA: _(Grumbles) _Whatever.

_(Bella walks over to the ice cream guy. As she gets closer, she sees a familiar face. OH NO!!!! It's Mike Newton!!)_

BELLA: This day just keeps getting worse and worse.

MIKE: _(Notices Bella) _OH MY GOSH!! I had no idea you signed up too! This is so awesome!

BELLA: Yeah, sure.

MIKE: _(Advertising) _Come try our new Banana Chill fruit smoothie! Only at Orange Julius!

BELLA: _(Mutters)_ I hate my life.

* * * * * *

_(Rosalie and Alice have found awesome clothes stores. All they need to find is some awesome money.)_

ROSALIE: Wonderful, beautiful, awesome clothes. _(Hugs a rack of shirts) _

ALICE: If only we had some money…

_(They see a teenage boy about their age looking at T-shirts)_

ROSALIE: I've got a plan. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

ALICE: Oh yeah. I am so there.

_(Rosalie and Alice start walking over to the teenage boy. He looks awed at the sight of them.)_

ROSALIE: Hey.

TEEN BOY: H-hi.

ALICE: What are you doing? _(Giggles)_

TEEN BOY: I'm just looking.

ROSALIE: Oh. We were just wondering if you could…spare any money for us. We don't have any. _(Makes a sad face)_

ALICE: Yeah. We're dressed in these ugly costumes too. We're being laughed at.

_(Rosalie puts her hand on the teenage boys shoulder)_

ROSALIE: So…you'll help us out?

TEEN BOY: Totally. _(Takes out money from his wallet and hands it to Rosalie)_

ROSALIE: Thanks.

ALICE: What is you're name again?

TEEN BOY: Tyler. You can call me Ty though.

ALICE: See you later, Ty. _(Giggles)_

_(Alice and Rosalie walk into a random clothes store)_

ALICE: We're brilliant! How much money did he give us?

ROSALIE: _(Smiles)_ 200 bucks.

ALICE: Sweet. So what should we buy?

ROSALIE: Hmm. We won't get what we usually buy, but it will definitely be better than these costumes.

ALICE: Totally.

_(Alice and Rosalie search the clothes stores looking for cute clothes that are less expensive, but just as awesome as their own clothes. After an hour of shopping, they have both picked out suitable outfits. Alice has picked out a blue top with sequins around the neckline and a white short skirt, with white ballet flats. Rosalie picked out a green Capri-sleeved shirt with a white flower design on the front, dark denim skinny jeans, and white high-heeled shoes.)_

ROSALIE: We look so awesome!

ALICE: Oh Yeah!

ROSALIE: Let's go find our siblings!

ALICE: With style!

**Please Review!! I hope you like it so far!**


	4. Twilighters

Part 4

_(Emmett is being chased by Edward at human speed, so they won't attract attention. Edward is super mad at Emmett because he called him a cute muffin. Hee Hee.)_

EDWARD: I'm going to kill you Emmett!

EMMETT: You can't get me!

_(They are attracting a lot of attention from shoppers)_

EDWARD: Wait! Emmett, STOP!

EMMETT: What? You giving up?

EDWARD: No! I heard a girl's thoughts and she's telling her friends about us.

EMMETT: So?

EDWARD: They have a fan club for both of us.

_(A few yards away, there are six girls about 16 looking at Edward and Emmett. Four of the girls are dressed up in "We Love Edward" T-shirts, and two of the girls are dressed up in "We Love Emmett" T-shirts. On the back of each of their T-shirts, it says "Vampires Rule".)_

EMMETT: It could be anyone.

EDWARD: It says "Vampires Rule" On the back of their T-shirts.

EMMETT: Holy crap.

_(The girls have very excited looks on their faces. They all start walking towards Edward and Emmett.)_

EDWARD: Just act normal.

ALL GIRLS: OH MY GOSH!! It's Edward and Emmett!!

EDWARD: You're Brianna, right?

BRIANNA: _(To other girls)_ He must have heard my thoughts!

EMMETT: All right girls. Who are you?

BRIANNA: This is Cayli, Thea, Heather, Rachel, and Makenna.

CAYLI: Hi!!

RACHEL: I always knew they were real!

THEA: This is the greatest moment of my life!

HEATHER: I think I'm gonna faint!

MAKENNA: They are so cute! Especially Emmett!

RACHEL: Totally agree!

EMMETT: Hear that Edward? They think I'm hotter!

CAYLI + BRI: Emmett is not cuter! Edward is!

THEA: Yeah! Muffins are cuter than superheroes!

HEATHER: You are so right!

EMMETT: Okay…Anyways, have you seen the creator?

EDWARD: He means Stephenie Meyer.

MAKENNA: Oh yeah! She just went off to get lunch at Panda Express. Her book signing was totally awesome!

RACHEL: We each brought all 3 books!

BRIANNA: See, Look! _(Digs through her green bag, which looks very heavy. She pulls out 3 very heavy looking books.) Stephenie signed them!_

THEA: We were like, so psyched!

HEATHER: By the way, where is the rest of you're family?

EDWARD: Well, we sort of got separated from them.

HEATHER: Oh.

EMMETT: So we kind of have to go find them, like, right now.

BRIANNA: Wait! You can't go! BITE ME!!

ALL GIRLS: DON"T LEAVE!!

_(Emmett and Edward soon realize that there is no escape from these faithful Twi-hards. But suddenly, Edward gets a brilliant, But risky idea.)_

EDWARD: Here it goes!

(_Edward plants a surprise kiss on the very shocked and lucky girl, Brianna. Their hair looks so alike!)_

Emmett: WHOA!

(_All the girls gasp. After about 10 seconds, Edward breaks the kiss.)_

BRIANNA: _(Barely audible) _Oh gosh._ (Her knees shake, and she sinks to the ground. She is out cold. All the girls immediately tend to her.)_

HEATHER:_ (Looks up) _HEY! THEY'RE GONE!

GIRLS: NOOOOO!! (Some of the girls start to cry)

(_Edward and Emmett have escaped the crazy Twi-hards. Edward is now calling Jasper. He finally realized they were all carrying cell phones.)_


	5. Jasper

Chapter 5

_(Jasper, the poor guy, has been dragged off to a mysterious place in the mall by some wacko princess. He is now behind a big stage curtain. Everyone is dressed up in funny costumes and carrying stuff around.)_

JASPER: What the heck is going on here?!

PRINCESS LADY: This is a play! Remember? Did a coconut hit you on the head or something?!

JASPER: I'm fine!

PRINCESS LADY: Just don't mess up the play, got it?

JASPER: Yes Ma'am!

_(Princess Lady shakes her head and walks off)_

JASPER: Okay. What should I do now?

_(Jasper suddenly spies a white script lying on the floor. It is titled "Sleeping Beauty")_

JASPER: You have got to be kidding me. _(Sighs)_ Oh well. _(He starts reading the script)_

* * * * * *

(_Alice and Rosalie have just finished getting Bella a super cute outfit with the rest of their money. It was pretty easy finding her with Mike there.)_

ALICE: I'm so glad we found you, Bella! You look so much better now!

_(Bella has on a red T-shirt and light blue skinny jeans, with black flip-flops.)_

BELLA: Thank goodness I'm not a banana anymore.

ROSALIE: I know! Let's go see Jasper act!

ALICE: This will be fun. I hope Edward and Emmett will get to see this.

_(After a series of twist and turns around the mall, the girls finally found the place where the play is going to take place. The room is full of little girls with their moms.)_

ROSALIE: Poor, poor Jasper.

BELLA: Let's just sit somewhere.

_(Rosalie, Alice, and Bella walk over to a spot and sit down. There are no seats. You have to sit criss cross applesauce.)_

ROSALIE: I'll call Emmett.

* * * * * *

_(Emmett and Edward are walking in the mall, steering clear of those crazy Twi-hards. Suddenly, Emmett's cell phone rings. It's an iphone!! His ring tone is the song "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat.)_

EDWARD: Oh My Gosh!! _(Doubles over laughing)_

EMMETT: IT'S NOT FUNNY!!! _(Glares at Edward and answers his iphone.)_

EDWARD: Hee Hee! It's called Bubbly! He's a softie!

EMMETT: SHUT UP!! It's Rosalie!

_(Edward gets very quiet and waits. He snickers just a little.)_

Emmett: _(talking on phone) _you're where? At a play? Jasper's in it? Where is it? Great! Okay, bye. Love ya. _(Puts phone in pocket)_

EDWARD: What's the plan?

EMMETT: We are going to see Jasper act. _(Smiles)_

* * * * * *

ALICE: Okay. There they are. _(She points to Edward and Emmett, who are just entering the room. The girls wave to them and they come over and sit down next to them.)_

Rosalie: Hey guys. The play is just about to start.

_(Edward and Emmett notice that the girls are not in their costumes. They gape.)_

EDWARD: How did you-?

ALICE: Well…we got this guy to give us…200 bucks. We bought some clothes and then we found Bella and got her some clothes. It was an emergency. _(Smiles innocently)_

EMMETT: Not fair!

ROSALIE: Sorry. We don't have any money left for you.

BELLA: Sorry, Eddy. You're still cute no matter what you wear. _(Smiles at him)_

EDWARD: _(smiles at Bella)_ Thanks.

EMMETT: Okay. Enough you two lovebirds.

(_Music starts. A voice announces the play, Sleeping Beauty.)_

ALICE: Oh, cool.

(_The curtain opens to reveal the stage.)_

_**Where are my reviews?!?!**_


	6. Author's Note

Come on guys!! I really need those reviews!! I need motivation, and fast!! The next chapter will be held until you guys review!!


	7. Stephenie Meyer

Sorry it took forever! I am the worst updater in the world!

_**(So far the play is going wonderfully. It looked like Jasper had been practicing for months. His acting is perfect. The rest of the Cullens can't believe it.) **_

**BELLA: This is great! **

_**(The princess leans in for a kiss.)**_

**JASPER: Arrggh! I can't do this!! I love Alice! **

**PRINCESS LADY: What the heck!! **_**(Trys to kiss him again)**_

_**(Alice leaps up on stag and tackles the Princess)**_

**PRINCESS LADY: AHHH!!**

**ALICE: Get your hands off him you b****!!**

**PRICESS LADY: What did you just call me??**

**Alice: You heard me.**

**Jasper: Okay… Bye! **_**(Takes Alice's hand and they leap off the stage)**_

*** * * * * * **

_**(The Cullens have escaped the play and are back in the mall.) **_

**BELLA: Oh my gosh Jasper! You were amazing! **

**JASPER: Thanks. **

**ALICE: I'm just glad you didn't kiss her. **

**JASPER: **_**(Too Alice) **_**There is only enough room in my heart for you. **_**(They both smile at each other.) **_

**EMMETT: I think you have discovered a new talent. **

**JASPER: I just have a good memory. **

**ROSALIE: Jasper, you are so modest.**__

_**(Edward suddenly stops walking. Everyone else also stops and looks back at Edward.) **_

**BELLA: What's wrong Edward? Are you okay? **

**EDWARD: I just remembered something. **

**JASPER: What is it? **

**EDWARD: The girls Emmett and I ran into. They talked about Stephenie Meyer. She's at Panda express! **

**EMMETT: He's right! Let's go find her! We might just make it! **

**BELLA: Yay! To the creator! **

*** * * * * * **

_**(The Cullens have just reached panda express. Stephenie Meyer is sitting alone at a table. She is wearing plain clothes and is wearing dark sunglasses.)**_

**BELLA: Here it goes! **_**(The Cullens approach Stephenie. She looks up at them. Then she takes a second glance and gawks at them. She looks speechless!) **_

**EDWARD: Please don't scream. **

_**(All the Cullens sit down at the table. Stephanie looks really confused.) **_

**STEPHENIE: You look just like- **

**EMMETT: We know, we know, the Cullen family.**__

**ROSALIE: Emmett! (Jabs him the ribs) Where are your manners!?**__

**EMMETT: Ow! (Winces) Sorry. **

**STEPHENIE: You guys look **_**exactly**_** like I imagined you. This is amazing! Plus your personalities! Oh yeah, I forgive you Emmett. **

**EMMETT: Thank you. **

**STEPHENIE: I have a question. Why are Emmett, Jasper, and Edward dressed up in costumes? **

**BELLA: Well…we were playing dress- **_**(Edward covers her mouth) **_

**EDWARD: You really, really, don't need to know. **

**STEPHENIE: Okay. Well, where is Carlisle and Esme? **

**ROSALIE: They are at home. I think they are partying. **

_**(Alice's eyes go blank)**_

**JASPER: What do you see, Alice? **

**ALICE: We have got to go! The crazy Twi-hard fans are gonna find us! We have to hurry! **

**EMMETT: Hold on. **_**(Takes a card out of his pocket and hands it to Stephenie.) **_**Call us sometime. **

**STEPHENIE: Totally! **

**BELLA: See you later!**__

_**(Six Twi-hards are a few feet yards away from the Cullens. We've seen them before!) **_

**CAYLI: GET THEM!!! **

**BRIANNA: YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE!!!!**

**EDWARD: RUN!!!! **

_**(The Cullens run for their lives at human speed. They run through the mall till they reach an exit. They head for Forks, Washington!) **_


	8. Anger Management

YAY! NEW Chapter!!!

REVIEW OR YOU WONT SEE ANOTHER ONE! MUHAHAHAHA!!!

*Thanks to gymnastbritt for the chapter idea! ^_^

_(The Cullens are running for their lives from the crazy Twi-hards! Too bad they have to run at human speed. Poor them!) _

EDWARD: Hurry up guys!

BELLA: Ugh! This is so power-straining! I wish I was a vampire!

EMMETT: No time for that Bella!

BRIANNA: _(From behind) _we will get you!

_(The Twi-hards are just a few yards behind the Cullens) _

ROSALIE: These heels are so killing me! I hate them!

ALICE: _(Gasps)_ What?! They are so cute though!

EDWARD: Shut up Alice!

ALICE: How can you say that!

EDWARD: Hm. Let me have a moment to pretend to care.

ALICE: UGH!!

EDWARD: HA! Moment's over! _(The Cullens have reached the mall's exit doors! They quickly run out the doors.) _

EDWARD: Here Bella! _(He grabs Bella and holds her wedding style) _You are way to slow.

BELLA: Thanks for reminding me. _ (The Cullens hide behind a smelly, old, unsuspecting, dumpster. EW! GERMS!) _

ALICE: This is just great.

EMMETT: At least we lost those crazy Twi-hards. Brianna really wants you Edward.

EDWARD: I prefer brunettes, not redheads.

BELLA: Thanks Edward!

EDWARD: It's true.

_(Emmett, Jasper, and Edward start whispering to each other.) _

EMMETT: We will be back in a minute. _(They take of to who-knows –where.) _

ALICE: So…let's talk about clothes!

ROSE + BELLA: Alright!

_(Several minutes pass. The boys finally come back. They are dressed up in biker outfits. OhMyGosh…)_

GIRLS: OHMYGOSH!!! What did you guys do?!

EMMETT: Well, we sort of had to corner these biker dudes…and stole their clothes.

GIRLS: WHAT?!?!

EDWARD: We didn't want to be in our costumes anymore!

JASPER: Now we are even!

ROSALIE: They do look…tough.

ALICE: And pretty hot.

BELLA: Pretty cute too. Well, just my Eddikins.

EMMETT+JAZ: Hey!

BELLA: Are you my boyfriend? I didn't think so!

JASPER: Gosh, Ed. Your girlfriend has anger issues.

EDWARD: DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT BELLA THAT WAY!! _(Puts his hands on his hips) _

EMMETT: Settle down Edward.

_(The boys have been fighting so much that they have failed to notice that the girls snuck away. They are back…with a car! It's a mini-van!!) _

ROSALIE: _(rolls car passenger window down)_ Edward, are you gay? Only girls do the hips thing.

EDWARD: I'm not gay!

BELLA: (_Gasps) _Edward!

EDWARD: It's not true! Don't listen to her!

BELLA: JUST GET IN THE ****ING CAR!!

_(Everyone gasps) _

BELLA: What? I have anger issues!

EDWARD: But you just…

ROSALIE: Shut up!

EMMETT: Ohhh! You just dropped the S-bomb!

ROSALIE: _(Gives Emmett the death glare) _don't mess with me!

_(The boys scramble inside the car. Apparently they don't want to die.) _

ALICE: Where to?

EDWARD: Home!!

ALICE: Alright! _(She starts the car and starts driving. She is driving quite fast.) (A few minutes into the drive…) _

BELLA: Alice, slow down! ALICE: Why?!

BELLA: There is a cop car right behind us!

ALICE: CRAP! Why didn't I see that coming!

JASPER: that would have been convenient!

_(Alice stops the car.) _

EDWARD: This day just keeps getting worse.

EMMETT: And weirder.

_(A policeman comes up to the Alice's window. He is bald and a little tubby.) _

POLICEMAN: Do you know how fast you were going?!

ALICE: Umm…

POLICEMAN: About as fast as a mini-van can go! And that is way past the speed limit! _(He starts writing them a ticket)_

EMMETT: Aw, man.

POLICEMAN: Stupid teenagers… _(Bella suddenly can't seem to contain the truth. She's gonna blow!) _

BELLA: THIS ISN'T OUR CAR WE STOLE IT!!! _(She claps her hands over her mouth in surprise.) _

EDWARD: BELLA!

BELLA: Sorry!

POLICEMAN: No wonder you were going so fast! You do know that grand theft auto is illegal?

POLICEMAN: I'm gonna send some cops down here to get you to the police station. _(He walks away and starts talking on his walkie-talkie.) _

BELLA: NOO!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO GO TO JAIL! _(Starts crying but Edward starts to comfort her.) _

ALICE: I hate myself…

* * * * * * 

_(The Cullen family is at a local police station. They are in a cell.) _

EDWARD: Why did we steal a car, again?!?

ALICE: It was an emergency! I didn't feel like running. Besides, Bella could never make it if she road on your back. She would have probably puked all over you.

EMMETT: We are doomed!

EDWARD: Wait a second! I'll call Carlisle and Esme!

_(A policeman over hears them. He comes over to their cell.) _

POLICEMAN: You can call someone if you need to. Come over here.

_(He unlocks the cell for Edward and lets him out.) _

* * * * * *

_(Edward has just finished his call with Carlisle. He has a smile on his face!) _

EDWARD: They're coming.


	9. Hot Pockets!

I AM SO VERY SORRY FOR THE LONG SuPeR WAIT!! I don't have time for a lot of stuff! I have to practice my flute and do homework and all that crap. Please forgive me! Please review and enjoy this chapter!

**POLICEMAN: Someone's here to see you. **

_**(Carlisle and Esme walk up to the cell with frantic looks on their faces.) **_

**ESME: OH MY GOSH! You had me worried sick! I can't believe you stole a car! **

**EMMETT: It was an emergency! **

**CARLISLE: I think we can bail you out. Just wait here a second. **

**ROSALIE: I'm sure we won't go anywhere. **

_**(Carlisle and Esme walk over to a policeman and start a conversation with him. After a few minutes, they approach the cell.) **_

**POLICEMAN: You're free to go. **_**(He grabs his keys out of his pocket and unlocks the cell. He opens the door.)**_

**BELLA: We can go? **

**POLICEMAN: Yep. (**_**They step out of the cell.) **_

**CARLISLE: We are going straight home. You guys are not getting out of this that easily. **

**ESME: Let's go. **

_**(The Cullens walk out to the parking lot. Carlisle stops them in front of a silver Volvo and a red **_

_**convertible.)**_

**ROSALIE: You drove my car?!?! **

**CARLISLE: Mine just got a paint job. Besides, I didn't scratch it one bit. **

**ROSALIE: Well at least I'm- **

**CARLISLE: You're not driving. **

**ROSALIE: But- **

**CARLISLE: I paid for the ticket and I bailed you out. You. Are Not. Driving.**

**ROSALIE: This is so not fair!**_** (She gets in the back of her car.)**_

**EDWARD: My car isn't scratched either, right? **

**ESME: It's perfectly fine. **

**EDWARD: Great. **_**(He gets in the back of his car.) **_

_**(Emmett and Alice get in the convertible. Jasper and Bella get in the Volvo. Esme gets in the convertible's driver seat and Carlisle gets in the Volvo's driver seat.) **_

*** * * * * * **

_**(A few minutes in to the drive…) **_

**EDWARD: WHERE'S BELLA!?!? **

**JASPER: OH MY GOSH! SHE'S NOT HERE! YOU ATE HER! **_**(Points to Edward)**_

**EDWARD: I did not eat her! **

_**(Carlisle and Esme both pull over.) **_

**CARLISLE: Where could she be?! **

*** * * * * * **

_**(Bella is in the forest tied to a chair)**_

**BELLA: Where am I? I thought I was going home! I have anger management problems! Don't **

**mess with me! **

_**(A red-headed figure steps out of the trees.) **_

**BELLA: VICTORIA?!?! **

**VICTORIA: Yes, it is I, young one. **

**BELLA: Tee hee! **

**VICTORIA: What's so funny?! **

**BELLA: You sounded like Yoda! **

**VICTORIA: You are so stupid! **

**BELLA: You're a meanie! (**_**Blows a raspberry towards Victoria)**_

**VICTORIA: Why I ought to- **

_**(Edward jumps out of the trees!) **_

**BELLA: My hero! **

**EDWARD: Bella! What- **_**(Sees Victoria) **_**Oh no! **

**VICTORIA: Oh yes! **_**(Laughs evilly) **_

**EDWARD: How did you get Bella?! **

**VICTORIA: That's for me to know and you to never find out. And now I'm going to kill your stupid human girlfriend! **

_**(Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle step out of the trees. The WHOLE wolf pack is behind them.) **_

**ALICE: CHARGE!!!! ATTACK HER YOU WOLVES!! **_**(The werewolves charge after Victoria. She starts running away and the werewolves follow. They soon run out of sight.) **_

**ALICE: I don't think she will be alive for much longer. **

**BELLA: HELLO! I'm still tied to this chair! **

**EDWARD: Oh yeah. **_**(He unties Bella.)**_

**BELLA: Thank you. **

**EDWARD: Are you okay? **

**BELLA: Yeah, I'm fine. What can I say, I'm a danger magnet! **

**EDWARD: That's not funny. **

**BELLA: Okay, muffin. **

**EDWARD: Did you just call me "Muffin"? **

**BELLA: Yep. You remind me of muffins! **

**EDWARD: Cool! What food reminds you of Jacob? **

**BELLA: Hot Pockets. **

*** * * * * * **

_**(Both cars have pulled into the Cullen mansion driveway. They all seemed relieved to be home.) **_

**EMMETT: It's good to be home! **

**JASPER: Oh yeah. I'm never stepping in a mall again. EVER! **

_**(Everyone gets out of the cars and start walking towards the door.) **_

**ALICE: HOME!! **_**(She speeds for the door and rips the door off its hinges.) **_

**ROSALIE: Umm… **

**ALICE: **_**(Smiles sweetly) **_**Sorry! **

**CARLISLE: We can fix that later. **_**(Enters house) **_

_**(Everyone else follows. Alice sets the door on its side.)**_

*** * * * * * **

**EDWARD: Ready to go to your house?**

**BELLA: Totally! But first, you really need to change your clothes. **

**EDWARD: Oh yeah. **_**(Speeds off to his room and comes back I this regular non biker clothes.)**_

**Bella: That's better. **

_**(Edward and Bella ride in Edward's Volvo. They are at Bella's house in minutes. They walk up to the door.) **_

**BELLA: Whatever you do, DON'T mention today's events. **

**EDWARD: Definitely. If he found out, he probably would try to kill me.**

**BELLA: I'd like to see him try. **

_**(They enter the house.)**_** BELLA: Charlie! I'm home! **

_**(Charlie enters the room.) **_

**CHARLIE: Hey, Bella…and Edward. **

**EDWARD: Hello, Charlie. **

**CHARLIE: What did you kids do today? **

**BELLA: Oh…nothing amazingly exciting… **_**(Winks at Edward)**_


	10. Cats!

LAST CHAPTER OF THE STORY!!!

NOO!! *tear*

_(The very next day Bella is at the Cullen mansion. Right now Emmett is laughing his head off in front of the computer screen.) _

EMMETT: Oh my gosh! You guys got to see this!

_(Alice, Edward, Bella, and Rosalie enter the room.) _

EDWARD: What's so funny?

EMMETT: Get this. Crazy costume men mug bikers of their clothes at a phoenix, Arizona mall. Three guys dressed as a muffin, a superhero, and a prince cornered three bikers yesterday and forced them to hand over their clothes!

ALICE: No way!

EMMETT: There's more. The three were previously seen with three girls dressed up as a banana, a princess, and a bunny.

_(There is a huge photo of the Cullens on the computer screen.)_

EDWARD: They even got pictures of us!

ROSALIE: Retarded photographers… _(The door bell rings. All of them race to the door. Alice opens the door. It's the Twi-hards!) _BELLA: How did you-

BRIANNA: OMG! Edward! Look at my shirt! It says "Bite Me' on the front! Plus it's custom made!

EDWARD: okay…

ROSALIE: What do you guys want?

CAYLI: Okay. Here's the plan. You know how much we all hate Jacob?

ALICE: Yeah…

HEATHER: Well, we were thinking about pulling a huge prank on him.

EMMETT: Count me in! What's the plan?

BRIANNA: We are going to put cats in his house!

RACHEL: One hundred to be exact!

ALICE: Where are we going to get one hundred cats?!

MAKENNA: They are already outside.

CAYLI: Jaspers out there.

CULLENS: WHAT?!

THEA: Come on! We will show you!

_(The Twi-hards lead the Cullens to the driveway. There are boxes of cats everywhere!) _

ALICE: Um…JASPER!?

_(Jasper is petting a black kitten. A blond-haired girl is sitting next to him.)_

EDWARD: What are you doing jasper?!

JASPER: What? I like cats!

_(The blond-haired girl stands up.) _

BRIANNA: This is Emily.

EMILY: OMG! EDWARD! I like muffins!

EDWARD: GREAT.

ROSALIE: How can we deliver the cats? We don't want break the treaty!

BRIANNA: We will do that part. You guys will distract the mutts.

BELLA: Yay! This will be fun!

ALICE: Totally!

* * * * * *

_(The Twi-hards have made it to the Backs' house. The Cullens are distracting the wolves. Who knew all those cats could fit into large vans?) _

THEA: All clear!

BRIANNA: Let's open a window! _(Brianna goes to one of the windows. Thankfully it isn't locked. Plus it's Jakes room!) _

BRIANNA: Cats. _(She grabs a box of cats and opens the cage and lets them out in the bedroom.) _

HEATHER: We will dump them in another window.

_(Heather, Makenna, Emily, Cayli, Thea and Rachel grab some boxes and go behind the house.) _

* * * * * *

_(After about 15 minutes, the house is filled with cats. The Twi-hards have just crossed the border line safely.) _

MAKENNA: We did it!

RACHEL: Look!

_(The Cullens are racing towards the Twi-hards' vans.) _

JASPER: Did you guys do it?

BRIANNA: Yep!

EMMETT: I can't wait to-

_(Suddenly, there is a loud howl in the distance. It is followed by loud screaming and swearing.) _

BELLA: We have got to go! Jacob will kill us if he finds out!

_(Everyone scurries into the vans.) _

* * * * * *

_(Everyone has made it safely to the Cullen mansion. They get out of the vans. There is a loud howling coming from inside the house.) _

ROSALIE: Is that a cat?

CAYLI: It sounds like it's in pain!

_(Everyone rushes inside the house.) _

RACHEL: What the- OH MY GOSH!!

_(Carlisle and Esme are huddled over a small black kitten. It looks like it is in pain. It has two small holes on its neck.)_

CARLISLE: Which one of you did this!?

JASPER: I'm sorry!

ALICE: You did it?!

JASPER: I couldn't help it! It's just so cute!

EMILY: So that is why it looked like we were one cat short!

* * * * * *

_(The kitten has been in pain for two hours. Suddenly, it stops howling.) _

BRIANNA: It stopped!

CARLISLE: Its heart isn't beating!

_(The kitten's eyes are a golden color. Its coat is shiny and beautiful. Its purr is musical. _

ALICE: It's beautiful!

EMILY: Is it a boy or girl?

CARLISLE: It's a girl.

JASPER: We can name it Willa!

ROSALIE: That's cute.

BRIANNA: It can be short for Princess Willamina Fegalicious!

ESME: What a perfect name. Willa the vampire kitten.

CARLISLE: I'm still puzzled by the fact it hasn't been three days. It's only been two hours!

THEA: Maybe it's because she is so small.

CARLISLE: Maybe.

ESME: It doesn't seem to be affected by the presence of a human.

MAKENNA: That could be her power!

EDWARD: One second! _(He speeds off and comes back with a plate of tuna. Willa immediately smells it and it's the tuna all up.)_

BELLA: Cool!

EMMETT: Awesome! Now we have a vampire kitty! I can teach it tricks!

ROSALIE: Do cats do tricks?

EMMETT: This is no normal cat! She is super strong and super fast!

ALICE: We should give her a room!

ROSALIE: Definitely!

BELLA: _(Talking to Willa) _Willa, you are now officially a member of the Cullen family!

EVERYONE: Yay!


	11. SUPRISE! UPDATE!

Heeey! I have a wondrous idea! I am going to rewrite this story, not using a play format. It's going to be a legit real story! I am also going to be writing new stories such as "Pranking with the Cullens" and also "food fight" They are currently being written. So, anticipate The new story to be posted!... When I get to it. School sucks. Especially AP!


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